jan1::: so what

so what do i write
when i want to expose
and hide
when i need to get this out my chest
and only plain simple telling words
can say
what
so what
do i say when i want to yell
and trying not to become
mute
what words are fitting
what sounds
frequent
just right
just true
just where do i put these
down nicely
when i really just want to throw them across the room
(exhale)
there
just words
right
so what
who cares
where they fall
as long as they are out
out
out
they need to be out
of my chest
drip through my fingers
to
the pages aren’t secret enough
the codes aren’t simple enough
the silence isn’t calming enough
the yelling isn’t clear
enough
so what
do i do
when
when my choices are
overexpose
or
disappear
remember
remembering
re
mem
ber
the prayers
of these
fingers
the memories
of this craving chest
re
members
the whole
whole
lota so whats
words
cravings
mutenesses
and yellings
needing to find the balance
of exploding
just right
to feelings
of
so what