i love these two. so much. i love that my mom was in my home for a couple of days and added her touches. i hate the thought that i have caused my mother any grief, and that my daughter may do the same to me. I think about this a lot lately, probably more then normal. I barely made it as a teen, which made it hard for moms. How do I prepare myself, how do i prepare her....i wonder.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
dec25::: love
i love my family, this little big one here, the big one there, the huge one over there, and the global one everywhere. Have a happy, merry, chilln, laxin day.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
dec20::: today I will write
today I will write
I will write about lost love
and those never found
I will write about healing
and figuring out that I have to
I will write about scars that stayed wounds
and about pieces of me I had
and lost forever
today I will write about how I feel
touch on my anger embrace the joys
I will come all around from the bitter
to the sweet
I will write words I can barely say out loud
the ones I am afraid of
I will write to those who will never read about themselves
I will tell them of the hole they cause in my
childrens life
I will write to the pain
to the faint memory of why I held on
and then I will write to myself
telling her we always knew and we will do better
I will write
with a nice pen and smooth paper
of the horrids of my life
and the beauty in it
I will write about lost love
and those never found
I will write about healing
and figuring out that I have to
I will write about scars that stayed wounds
and about pieces of me I had
and lost forever
today I will write about how I feel
touch on my anger embrace the joys
I will come all around from the bitter
to the sweet
I will write words I can barely say out loud
the ones I am afraid of
I will write to those who will never read about themselves
I will tell them of the hole they cause in my
childrens life
I will write to the pain
to the faint memory of why I held on
and then I will write to myself
telling her we always knew and we will do better
I will write
with a nice pen and smooth paper
of the horrids of my life
and the beauty in it
Monday, December 19, 2011
dec17::: reflecting
I use to not be able to stand Saggittariians,
the female and male alike.
They were moody, proud, loud, spacey,
extra sensitive with a hard exterior, rude,
had off beat humor, and sometimes just too darn serious,
too all or nothing, just too much.
Some of the people I dislike the most in my life are born at this time.
It is true.
As I grew and all the riff-raff fell off the sides,
and has I went though life with its harshness and beauty,
I look up to find that most of my inspirational and closest
friends share this sign with me.
I also realize those things I didn't like were things I recognized in me.
Sometimes it is not that deep,
sometimes it is.
the female and male alike.
They were moody, proud, loud, spacey,
extra sensitive with a hard exterior, rude,
had off beat humor, and sometimes just too darn serious,
too all or nothing, just too much.
Some of the people I dislike the most in my life are born at this time.
It is true.
As I grew and all the riff-raff fell off the sides,
and has I went though life with its harshness and beauty,
I look up to find that most of my inspirational and closest
friends share this sign with me.
I also realize those things I didn't like were things I recognized in me.
Sometimes it is not that deep,
sometimes it is.
dec16::: family edits
still working on photos from my father's funeral. I am collecting photos from all the cameras and then editing them. The plan is to make a book...eventually. This is me and my mother walking arm in arm. My niece is to my side, my brother in the back, and a distant cousin in the distance.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
dec15::: older (2008)
reflecting on how I felt the last years I became older.....soon it will happen again.
dec14::: sabr
Lord please give me patience, because if you give me strength I may just beat someone to death.
Adonis Iwhbyd Wagner
Adonis Iwhbyd Wagner
dec13::: orange
I cannot help but to keep coming back to this one. I think if you look at my photos enough you can tell I adore orange and obsess over lines.
dec12::: building
so I did it again. I volunteered at the kids' school today and built a volcano. it is 10 feet wide, 6 feet tall. and has 2 large sides that are 8 feet each. I made a templet out of cardboard and wraped chicken wired over it. I started to paper mache it, but left most of that to the children.....and of course not one picture to prove my creativity today. go figure.
dec6::: mirror mirror
preparing to hibernate. thinking I will post oldies for some of the last posts.....
Saturday, December 10, 2011
nov30::: more like a diary
doing an art blog for 365 days feels more like keeping a diary then developing skill. but it is growth nonetheless. and it could not have been a worse/best time. that is life. that is art.
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